chasing butterfly

Had a good day!

I feel good about the weight I've lost this week. And overall since stopping the medication that made me go all "binge" for a few (6!) months there. I lost 15 total, in 3 weeks, and 4.5 this week alone. :)
I'm almost fitting in the size lower jeans that I've not been able to wear in a few months.. they're really snug. But I can get INTO them again.
I've found a lot of inspiration on the web, and with talking to a few friends. It's surprising how many people have some sort of "problem" with food. Looking at tv, and news, and today's headlines about weight problems, it seems just about everyone has a problem with food.
I have had ana, mia, coed, and/or binge ed. So, yeah EDNOS fits.
The thing is, I see that without the meds making me gain.. or living with people that eat a lot.. I tend to be ana. I found that interesting. I guess I'm easily led astray by temptations, and have NO control when it comes to those medications.
I'm doing alright OFF that med.. it's for PTSD. I'm dealing with the "problems" of nightmares, anxiety, panic attacks, and whatnot, just on my own. I'd rather NOT gain and gain and gain, than just to get tougher and deal with the PTSD stuff myself. Grin and bear it.

I haven't joined a LOT of groups on lj yet for ED's or for dieting, just a few, and not sure how many friends will cross over and watch this journal too...

For those friends that HAVE or ARE adding this journal to read about my ongoing struggle with weight and weight issues, I want to say thank you, really, it means a lot to me. :)

"CNC" and ED article

This is a pretty good article on "Confirmed Negativity Condition" in ED patients. It helps to understand what's going through the mind of someone with an ED. I just get the feeling that there are a lot of people that will scoff at it, or look down upon it's impact, and not take it as something severely imparing the person with an ED. The stigma's of mental illness are still alive and well, and to see that there are people "thinking" about these "cognitive voices" they're likely to get slapped with the label of "Crazy" when they are not. That's frustrating.
Anyway.. here's the article..

What it is I'm dealing with...

What is ED-NOS?

DSM-IV Criteria for Eating Disorder- Not otherwise Specified:
The EDNOS category include disorders that do not meet the criteria for a specific eating disorder. Each one of the following disorders is an example:

All of the criteria for anorexia nervosa are met except that the individual has regular menses.
All of the criteria for anorexia nervosa are met except that, despite substantial weight loss, the individual's current weight is in the normal range.
All of the criteria for bulimia nervosa are met except that binge eating and inappropriate compensatory mechanisms occur at a frequency of less than twice a week or for a duration of less than 3 months.
The regular use of inappropriate compensatory behavior by an individual of normal body weight after eating small amounts of food (eg, self-induced vomiting after the consumption of two cookies).
Repeatedly chewing and spitting out, but not swallowing, large amounts of food.
Binge eating disorder: recurrent episodes of binge eating in the absence of the regular use of inappropriate compensatory behaviors characteristic of bulimia nervosa.

Criteria for Anorexia nervosa:
There are four basic criteria for the diagnosis of anorexia nervosa that are characteristic:

The refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height. Body weight less than 85% of the expected weight is considered minimal.
An intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though the person is underweight.
Self-perception that is grossly distorted and weight loss that is not acknowledged.
In women who have already begun their menstrual cycle, at least three consecutive periods are missed (amenorrhea), or menstrual periods occur only after a hormone is administered.
The DSM-IV further identifies two subtypes of anorexia nervosa. In the binge eating/purging type, the individual regularly engages in binge eating or purging behavior which involves self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas during the current episode of anorexia. In the restricting type, the individual severely restricts food intake, but does not engage in the behaviors seen in the binge eating type. For more, please read the Binge Eating Disorders article.

Binge eating disorder criteria:
Doctors generally agree that most people with serious binge eating problems often:

feel their eating is out of control
eat what most people would think is an unusually large amount of food
eat much more quickly than usual during binge episodes
eat until so full they are uncomfortable
eat large amounts of food, even when they are not really hungry
eat alone because they are embarrassed about the amount of food they eat
feel disgusted, depressed, or guilty after overeating.
Binge eating also takes place in another eating disorder called bulimia nervosa. Persons with bulimia nervosa, however, usually purge, fast, or do strenuous exercise after they binge eat. Purging means vomiting or using a lot of diuretics (water pills) or laxatives to keep from gaining weight. Fasting is not eating for at least 24 hours.

Criteria for bulemia nervosa:
The actual criteria for bulimia nervosa are found in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV). There are five basic criteria in the diagnosis of bulimia:

Recurrent episodes of binge eating. This is characterized by eating within a two-hour period an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances.
A sense of lack of control over the eating during the episode, or a feeling that one cannot stop eating.
In addition to the binge eating, there is an inappropriate compensatory behavior in order to prevent weight gain. These behaviors can include self-induced vomiting, misuse of laxatives, diuretics, enemas or other medications, fasting, or excessive exercise.
Both the binge eating and the compensatory behaviors must occur at least two times per week for three months and must not occur exclusively during episodes of anorexia.
Finally, the behavior above is unduly influenced by body image.

ANOTHER good site is: EDNOS at
and another is: HealthyPlace- Eating disorders

What ED-NOS is NOT:
An excuse.
Fad dieting.
Easy to live with.
Something you'd wish on your worst enemy. No one deserves it, yet the people who have it feel they DO deserve it, just not anyone else.
Some good excuse for people to hate or discriminate other people.. the fat, the medium, or the thin, or the really thin.

Helping a friend with eating disorder(s) @